For Christopher on your graduation from High School
What follows is a list of things that I wish I had known or
understood when I was your age. I first wrote this out around 6 years
ago for April's graduation and am updating it for you. Life has moved
on and it is interesting to note that I have a couple more
significant life lessons than I did 6 years ago. I am 46
52 years old which is 34 years older than you. Many of these things I
did not understand or learn until I was 30 to 52 years old. My hope
and prayer is that these will be useful to you.
Don’t sell yourself short.
Now when I say this, what I am thinking of was my choice of college
Major. I had signed up to study Mechanical Engineering at UK. Then my
Dad and another friend at church took me to see the Industrial
Technology program at EKU. They suggested that the math in the
engineering program might be too much. So I switched to Industrial
Technology which has a lower requirement for math and is not an
engineering degree. Years later after having graduated and worked for
some years, I started regretting that decision. I have regretted it
now for twenty plus years. You see no one, including the government,
respects a lower level technology degree. Whenever I see job postings
they are always wanting an engineering degree. I have considered
going back to school to get an engineering degree and even started
taking classes at UofL. However, I finally acknowledged that it is not
practical to work full time at a day job and also take day time
classes which is when UofL offers them.
So for you, this could possibly apply in many ways. It could be in your
choice of career, school, or something else. Don’t assume that you
can’t do something just because it may be difficult. Don’t give
up on a dream without even trying.
Career Choice
For a career, pick something that you enjoy. Don’t worry about how
much that career pays or what people think about it. People can get
by. What people can’t take is doing something that they hate.
Fortunately, I enjoy my job and can easily see myself doing it until
I retire.
Pray about it, get advice from others, do some research, and then
take your best guess and move forward to get training that will help
you with that career. You might end up deciding that you didn’t
like it as much as you thought and change to another. That is ok. You
will never be able to be sure of your choice and so you just have to
make the best one that you can and move forward.
https://andrewwillisthoughts.blogspot.com/2018/07/principles-for-knowing-gods-will-for.html
No one really cares. / Mistakes are ok. / Laugh it off.
This may mostly be a middle school thing and so you may be beyond it.
But what I am thinking of here is stuff like the great fear that I
might be walking around with my pants zipper undone. And so you check
every few minutes to make sure it is up. Or the fear that there is
snot hanging out on your nose that everyone is noticing. And so you
make a point of checking your face in the bathroom mirror. Or your
extreme embarrassment at tripping and spilling your books all over
the floor where everyone sees you do it.
So the big truth is that no one really cares about this stuff as much
as you think they do. The thing for you to do is see the humor in
your mistakes, laugh about it, and go on. Don’t pound yourself over
things that no one else cares about. This is easier said than done.
You will probably have to work and pray to obtain this attitude.
Satan is happy to encourage your self-abuse and will delightedly
drown you in sorrows. Acknowledge that God loves you and no other
person’s opinion matters!
Be kind in what you say to others.
This will probably be something to keep watch on all your life.
People in our world today commonly have fun at other’s expense.
Another common thing is the “smart come back” that is almost
always a put down or insult on the other person. Here are a few Bible
verses on this.
- Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
- 1 Thessalonians 5: 13-17 (NIV) Live in peace with each other. 14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
It is a pretty safe bet that if you
are making fun of someone, then you are not encouraging them.
The “smart come back” or insulting each other “just for fun”
are definitely not approved by God and not just for fun. I have
caught myself on this occasionally. I may be around people that do
this a lot and find myself slipping into the same thing. There are
also some Christian families that do this as a regular part of their
conversation, but it is not good. At some point, you will be “dating”
a girl. Don’t ruin things by insulting her all the time and saying,
“Can’t you take a joke?” Her feelings will cool off and she
will leave you! I’ve seen it happen.
Am I really a Christian?
Most likely you do not have a problem with this. If you do, then this
probably is a simple misunderstanding of scripture that could be
resolved in a few conversations and readings of select scriptures. I
mention this because up until my Sophomore year in College I was not
sure if I met the qualifications to be a Christian. At that point, I
had been a Christian for four years. I talked to some of my Christian
friends in college about it but didn’t get any break through.
Finally, I mentioned this to an upper-class college Christian friend
who understood scripture. My problem ended up being a
misunderstanding of the definition of the words Faith and Belief.
I was defining Faith and Belief as 100% certainty which by definition
is impossible. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) says “Now faith is confidence in
what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” If you
are 100% certain that the ball is under the bed it is because you are
clearly laying on the floor and looking at the ball. James 2:18 says
“But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me
your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.”
So the understanding I got from this verse is that Faith is really an
action word and that I could see that I had Faith by my actions. I
demonstrate my faith when I go to church, when I pray, etc.
Now you
may have some other uncertainty. My suggestion is to bring it up with
your parents.
Most
likely there is an answer.
The Importance of Christian friends.
This will most likely not be a problem for you and it wasn’t for
me. I mention this because I see others drift away from the Church.
Typically, there is some change in your life and you just never make
the effort to get back into fellowship. Typical changes that can
cause this are leaving a church due to hurt feelings, going to
college, graduating from college, moving to a new town, getting an
apartment, getting a job, etc. Wherever you find yourself, seek out
Christian friends! Hebrews 10:24-25 says ”And let us consider how
we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not
giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day
approaching.”
If you go to college, join a Christian college organization and also
attend a local church on Sunday. College is a significant time. I was
only there for four years and I learned a lot. However, I count what I
learned about Christ as the most significant part of my college
experience.
At my work, there have been two to five of us that have been getting
together weekly for years during our lunch hour to study the Bible.
That is an encouragement to me.
Evolution vs. Creation
You have the advantage of being homeschooled. I was public schooled
and was confused about Evolution and Creation for the first 10 to 15
years of my Christian life. It wasn’t until my daughter, April, was
three or four years old and started asking what happened to the
Dinosaurs that I finally got serious, read some books, and figured
things out. There is a lot of serious scientific evidence to back up
the Bible. My humorous, but partly correct, answer to the question of
what happened to the Dinosaurs is that “We killed them”. Also, I
really hadn’t realized how far Evolutionary thinking has penetrated
into our society. Lots of things that we hear said can sound right
but are false and trace their roots back to Evolutionary thinking. So
my suggestion is that you not wait as long as I did but, pick up a
couple of books. Read at least one that goes over the scientific
backing for Biblical creation. And then a second book that compares
Evolutionary vs. Biblical thinking/theology. As you are drawing near
to the end of your home school time, you will be eventually going out
into the world to school and work. You will be meeting more and more
people with a variety of ideas. It will be good for you to be
prepared so that you are not confused.
The life long impact of memorizing scripture.
While I was in college I was encouraged to memorize scripture to
improve my knowledge of the Bible, deepen my walk with God, and carry
me through the hard times of life. What was suggested was that I
memorize a set of 60 verses called the Topical Memory System that was
developed by a Christian group called the Navigators. It covered all
the basics of faith and Christian life. So that sounded good and
I memorized a verse or two a week until I have got through all of
them. For much of it, my best friend Allison was my scripture memory
partner. We would meet together weekly to review what we had
memorized and quiz each other on the old verses.
God has been using those verses regularly now for 20+ years! The
frequency may not be quite weekly, but it is often. I am often amused
because one of the other guys at my work who I Bible study with
weekly also apparently memorized the same scriptures and he will
quote different ones of them on a weekly basis during our discussions
because they are such foundational verses. I had no appreciation at
all for how useful it would be to memorize key scriptures. When you
are talking with another Christian and encouraging them you can quote
scripture which is much more authoritative than saying. “I think
somewhere it says something about that…”
A drinking cup is typically used as an analogy of God’s ability to
use us. If our cup is empty, God can’t use us to refresh those
around us. But if we are full of scripture God can reach in and pull
out a refreshing verse to encourage, challenge, and correct others.
I am still working on memorizing scriptures but I have noticed that
the ones I memorized decades ago are so much easier to recall than
the ones memorized in the last few years. So you have an opportunity
while you are young to fill yourself with God's word which will bless
those around you for a lifetime.
In the last couple of years, I have finally been seeing the overall
results of pursuing God accelerate which included scripture memory.
In fact, I wrote a blog posting about it.
https://andrewwillisthoughts.blogspot.com/2018/12/the-impact-of-gods-word-in-our-life-is.html
A like minded Christian wife is a delight
You have probably heard something like this before, but I am also
fairly sure that you have very little appreciation for how
significant this is! Many, many times over the years I have been glad
that Allison and I agree on things. It is such a relief. The possible
areas of disagreement are vast and can include Biblical truth,
theology, hobbies, hunting, use of money, children, furniture, TV,
and the list can go on an on and on. So my comment is that if you are
someday seriously considering marriage. First, she should be a strong
Christian who is your spiritual equal. Second, during marriage
counseling, you two should go through long lists of typical items that
couples disagree on to see if you have differences of opinion. Some
differences are ok, but let it be a warning sign if there seem to be
very many or any significant differences.
Diet
This is a new section. In the last six years, I have learned that the
standard American diet of cake, cookies, pasta, bread, etc is mostly
to blame for the great majority of Americans suffering from cancer,
diabetes, Alzheimer's, heart disease, allergies, and most other common
lifestyle diseases. This is too much to go into detail on and so I
will direct you to a recent blog article that I wrote.
The Bible is true
This is another new section. Six years ago I would have agreed with
the statement that “the Bible is true”. It's more that I
discounted certain sections without recognizing what I was doing.
This is a fairly common problem in the American Evangelical world.
Since then we started attending a Pentecostal church where over time
I have realized there were a number of misunderstandings I have about
passages in the Bible where what is written is literally true and
should not be discounted.
May God guide and direct you.
Proverbs 3:5&6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not
lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and
he will make straight your paths. (By the way, this was one of those
verses that I memorized in college that God, in typical fashion,
brought to my mind to include in this letter for you.)
Andrew
Willis
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